4 things you should know about unequally yoked relationships.Wow this topic is a hard one for me to talk about because I have had my fair share of these.
Ashamed? Yes.
Did I see a potential husband in any of them? No (okay maybe one đ)
Can I be frank though, an unequally yoked relationship on one end of the spectrum are 2 individuals that clash in many ways. The family may not like them. They see all the red flags that you managed somehow to bypass. In a biblical context it means something more important. Each person submitting to God’s teachings and being influenced by the Word of God.
1st thing to know about unequally yoked relationships
Do you find it hard to open up and be truly vulnerable? In fact it doesnât even reach that milestone because itâs a surface level relationship. You know the kind where all you do is just smile and laugh and talk about the present moment. There is nothing wrong with that. But after some time it’s healthy to share more things about you including what’s truly on your mind and values. Maybe even your struggles or just anything else that is going on in your life. After all, a level of emotional intelligence is required in relationships.
What ways are they meeting your needs?
Joel claimed to be a man who didn’t do voice calling much. He preferred messaging. After a while it felt like pen pals. The intimacy I needed wasn’t developing. One day I kindly suggested we talked more on the phone. A couple of times this happened but it was clear he wasn’t taking my request seriously.
I remember in my last relationship there was one occasion when Greg and I attended church together. I got emotional and began crying. All he did was stand next to me, still as a statue because he was very reserved. Furthermore, he didn’t offer me tissues or after the service follow up to see if I was okay. Or even ask general open questions. This behaviour made me question his belief in God. In future I never asked to go church together again.
Are you comfortable being sexual with them?
Greg and I never had sex. Sexual intimacy develops a closeness on all levels: spiritually, emotionally and mentally.
Do their words speak louder than their actions?
Joel played bass guitar at Church. His father was a Pastor and his family attended Church together regularly.
“Great” I thought “I love worshiping God and going to Church too”.
After the 4th date I asked him if I can come along to service one Sunday.
What you should know about this unequally yoked relationship
It didn’t develop further.
Joel said “itâs such a close knit church where everyone knows each other and everyone talks to eachother, so if I bring you they will talk amongst themselves”.
I said âGod is important in both our lives and itâs such a positive experience to be able to share this experience together besides I’m just a friendâ.
Joel’s reply âHopefully when I do introduce you to my family youâll be more than a friend, in the meantime let’s go to another churchâ.
More questions you should ask
Are you growing together, discussing your dreams and goals for the future and doing your best to support the other person. After all if they succeed youâll both reap the benefits.
If you share a space together i.e. a home. Does it represent both your vision for a home? Are you building together as a team or is one person dominating the space.
Can you share personal experiences together and bounce off one anotherâs energy? This ensures a deep connection and viability.
The End
It’s so easy these day to jump into an unequally yoked relationship. Think of the 3 V’s before diving deeper. Values, Vision and Viability.
Can you spare 2 minutes? Read the next blog I am Hannah – Review
